Valentine's Day!

[http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2015/2/14/8021797/some-mariners-themed-valentines-to-give-to-your-loved-ones]

A Knowledgeable Man

"If I knew how I knew what I know, I'd only be able to know half as much..."

Occupy Sparkle

Seth and I have long um, enjoyed the Twilight franchise. We went to the theater to see New Moon when it came out in November 2009, as a joke? a dare? This is how I described it in an email back then:

When we went to see New Moon...! Seth got me to go to a movie with him by saying we would go to New Moon (which I offered as our only choice because I was sure he'd say no to it) and that I didn't have to get out of my pajamas... 

We were truly surprised that we actually enjoyed it. Sure, we made fun of it the whole time. But even so it wasn't nearly as bad as we thought it was going to be. And, the soundtrack was amazing!

But before that, I read the books because a bunch of my sister's friends were reading them and lent them to me. I read through the first three books (Breaking Dawn wasn't even out yet!) really quickly in June/July 2007... and then sort of dismissed them. I didn't expect they would become the phenomena that they did.

Anyway, once Eclipse came out, Seth and I went to see it at the theater. (Um, we might have even gone opening night? We went two weeks before our wedding, on what was our last official unmarried date...) It was fine (read: ridiculous as expected, no more, no less). And then twice now Seth has totally surprised me by bringing home Breaking Dawn (parts one and two) from Redbox.

I tried to re-read the first book last summer, but I just couldn't make my way through it. Oh! We should totally get it on "tape" for our next roadtrip!

Anyway. We love Twilight because it makes us laugh. Enter new favorite author: Baratunde Thurston. Guess what he has graciously provided the world? Hate tweeting Twilight! It's hilarious and insightful. I haven't thought about Twilight for months, but I was laughing (and cringing) at how stupid the whole franchise is.

Like he says,

I hate the franchise. I think it is bad for America and little girls. You basically got this stalker vampire who's basically abusing this low self-esteem child, and that is hailed as a great image of love and respect. Because I have read the books and suffered through them, I wanted to prevent others from falling into that same fate. So on opening weekend, I go to the theater, I sit in the back to not disturb people, and I live-hate-tweet the film. And that just means I tweet in real-time with hate. I absolutely disdain this franchise. So I'm describing the storyline through my eyes and what the story really means, and it's proved very popular. And most importantly, I've prevented people from spending their hard-earned money. 

New Moon Hate Tweeting Slideshow

Breaking Dawn Hate Tweeting on Storify

For example:

1. 
   

   Baratunde@baratunde

   
   

   
   

   The previews have begun. This part features the best display of storytelling so I must pay attention #breakingdawn

   
   

   Baratunde

            @baratunde

   
   

   National Guard ad seems out of place. Our nation's security should not depend on people who choose Twilight. #breakingdawn

Baratunde: Unplug

One of the bloggers I follow linked to this article today: "#Unplug: Baratunde Thurston Left The Internet For 25 Days, And You Should Too". I don't know what prompted me to click on it... unplugging isn't necessarily something I'm interested in enough to read about. But. I'm so glad I did. I have, very quickly, come to love the author, Baratunde Thurston.

In my small pockets of reading time today (=nursing), I read as much by Baratunde as I could. Like his article "#Unplug" (and his hilarious Twilight coverage!). I found so many quotes in this article that I appreciated for one reason or another. I should probably preface each of the following quotes I pulled from the article, but that'd take too much time right now (and I'd rather go read more of his articles, etc.)

Physically, mentally, digitally, I refused to stay still.

I had begun to resent the emails and the mobile notifications, the many ways that an odd and wide assortment of people dared to enter my life.

I just wanted to be mentally free of obligations, most of which asserted themselves in some digital fashion.

Call me self-employed, call me an artist, call me Supreme Allied Commander of My Multi-Hyphenate Life; they all translate to “working all the time.”

I would not generate any activity whatsoever on any social network whatsoever, including, but not limited to, seeing, reading, downloading, syncing, sending, submitting, posting, pinning, sharing, uploading, updating, commenting, tagging, rating, liking, loving, upvoting, starring, favoriting, bookmarking, plus-oneing, or re-anythinging.

The more I tried to control these data streams, the more I realized that everything is too integrated.

I was stunned at the cumulative level of noise I had embraced and frustrated at how difficult it was to silence. Had I really granted all of this?

Since I couldn’t query my online network for local dining and culture options, my massage therapist became my recommendation engine. She told me of several restaurants and sites to check out. She transmitted this data by writing down the names on a piece of paper.

By the end of that first week, the quiet rhythm of my days seemed far less strange. I was less stressed about not knowing new things; I felt that I still existed despite not having shared documentary evidence of said existence on the Internet.

I stopped consciously thinking about the experiment and just started living it. I was reading long books, engaging in meaningful conversations, and allowing my mind to wander and make passive connections I had previously short-circuited with social queries, responses, interruptions, and steady documenting and sharing of unripened experiences.

One major feature of industrialization was the adoption of leisure time for those of us not among the leisure class. Yet one major feature of the Networked Age is our de-created ability to disengage. Will the concept of downtime have been a temporary blip in the history of civilization?

[http://www.fastcompany.com/3012521/unplug/baratunde-thurston-leaves-the-internet?]

"[Help] the Police"

Seth and I both thought Adam Buxton's "Help the Police" was hilarious! We couldn't stop laughing.

Compared to the original lyrics, it's even funnier:

N.W.A's 1988 "Fuck the Police" (1988)

But don't let it be a black and a white one
'Cause they'll slam ya down to the street top
Black police showing out for the white cop

"Help the Police"
But don't let it be a black and a white one
'Cause they'll tickle you until you're giggling
Black police having fun with the white cop

{Also, when I Googled the title of this song in order to find the parody again, I found this"pseudo-archaic English translation" by Joseph Ducreux: "Fornicate the constabulary/From directly within the firmament." Wow.}

WWII... on FB

Hilarious!

White Guilt

Twenty-five Everyday Things You Never Knew Had Names

[http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/25-everyday-things-you-never-knew-had-names]

Chick Flicks

The article "Flick Chicks" by Mindy Kaling (who also writes for The Office and plays Kelly Kapoor in said show) made me laugh several times. She encapsulates several popular romantic comedy characters, as I've excerpted below. But I also appreciated her oh, shall we say defense? of the genre:

This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarrassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity. But that has not stopped me from enjoying them. I like watching people fall in love onscreen so much that I can suspend my disbelief in the contrived situations that occur only in the heightened world of romantic comedies.

Now on to the female characters!

The Klutz
...When a beautiful actress is cast in a movie, executives rack their brains to find some kind of flaw in the character she plays that will still allow her to be palatable. She can’t be overweight or not perfect-looking, because who would pay to see that?...

The Ethereal Weirdo
...This girl can’t be pinned down and may or may not show up when you make concrete plans with her. She wears gauzy blouses and braids. She likes to dance in the rain and she weeps uncontrollably if she sees a sign for a missing dog or cat. She might spin a globe, place her finger on a random spot, and decide to move there. The Ethereal Weirdo appears a lot in movies, but nowhere else...

The Woman Who Is Obsessed with Her Career and Is No Fun at All
...barking orders into my hands-free phone device and yelling, “I have no time for this!” Often, a script calls for this uptight career woman to “relearn” how to seduce a man, and she has to do all sorts of crazy degrading crap, like eat a hot dog in a sexy way or something. And since when does holding a job necessitate that a woman pull her hair back in a severe, tight bun? Do screenwriters think that loose hair makes it hard to concentrate?...

The Forty-two-Year-Old Mother of the Thirty-Year-Old Male Lead
...If you think about the backstory of a typical mother character in a romantic comedy, you realize this: when “Mom” was an adolescent, the very week she started to menstruate she was impregnated with a baby who would grow up to be the movie’s likable brown-haired leading man...

The Sassy Best Friend
...You know that really hilarious and horny best friend who is always asking about your relationship and has nothing really going on in her own life?...

The Skinny Woman Who Is Beautiful and Toned but Also Gluttonous and Disgusting
...the gorgeous and skinny heroine is also a ravenous pig when it comes to food. And everyone in the movie—her parents, her friends, her boss—are all complicit in this huge lie. They constantly tell her to stop eating. And this actress, this poor skinny actress who obviously lost weight to play the likable lead character, has to say things like “Shut up, you guys! I love cheesecake! If I want to eat an entire cheesecake, I will!” If you look closely, you can see this woman’s ribs through the dress she’s wearing—that’s how skinny she is, this cheesecake-loving cow...

The Woman Who Works in an Art Gallery
...How many freakin’ art galleries are out there? Are people buying visual art on a daily basis? This posh/smart/classy profession is a favorite in movies. It’s in the same realm as kindergarten teacher or children’s-book illustrator in terms of accessibility: guys don’t really get it, but it is likable and nonthreatening... The Gallery Worker character is the rare female movie archetype that has a male counterpart. Whenever you meet a handsome, charming, successful man in a romantic comedy, the heroine’s friend always says the same thing: “He’s really successful. He’s”—say it with me—“an architect!”...

[http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2011/10/03/111003sh_shouts_kaling]

Hitler interprets Nietzsche

I often find Ricky Gervais to be quite funny. This is probably my favorite sketch.




(http://youtu.be/JUH1H-b-N5o)

Dancing