"The Compassion of Christ"

I saved this link to a draft blog post a month ago, intending to highlight a paragraph and link to the original blog and thus have a neat little citation of an article I appreciated at one point.

Of the many articles I read, I only pick a few that I want to save to this blog. And of those few? I may remember them, sure, but really the exercise is precisely so I *don't* have to remember them but can find them again when the topic is relevant. This blog is supposed to function as my um, external hard drive, I guess.

However, since I often go a month or two before I format the links and actually publish a post, I often do forget why I selected a particular link as "blog worthy" and get to rediscover it when I actually go through my draft posts.

I have thought about the following quote and the original article many times in the last month and it's been really convicting, especially as I parent Isaac. I often have too little patience with him and his over-dramatization of the events in his life.

I need to remember Jesus and His care of His disciples and friends and ask myself:

Can I be a compassionate mother like that?  Can I look into my child’s eyes and tell her not to fuss about dinner, but with the same compassion of one who knows how hard it is to wait? Can I hold them when they have a bad dream, and tell them none of it is real, but with the kindness of someone who knows what it feels like to be afraid?  Or do I dismiss their fears and their worries and their struggles because I know they won’t last long?  Can I find a more compassionate way to exercise my authority and abandon the answer “because I told you so”?  Am I the kind of mother who tells my children to “get over it” because I know that a scratch on their knee isn’t going to kill them?  Or am I the kind of mother who can, like Jesus, compassionately kiss their hurts, understanding that their fears are real to them, and kindly tell them that they will heal?  Can I be kind like Jesus on the stormy waters when He asked His disciples be calm while He gently calmed the waves?  Can I be kind when nobody in the house is being calm?  Can I bring the calm?

[https://fenleyflat.wordpress.com/2015/04/03/the-compassion-of-christ/]

"The Grace in Going to Church"

Fellowship.

Faithfulness.

Fruitfulness.

Humilty.

Wow. I needed this article. I need all of the above graces.

I've had a hard time, lately, appreciating my need for weekly worship and fellowship, but I'm convicted by this article and determined to change my attitude about church.

[http://thecripplegate.com/the-grace-in-going-to-church/]

Sexual Abuse in the Church

For about the last two years I've been slowly researching sexual abuse, especially in the church. I haven't done a very good job of collecting the articles and memoirs and reports I've read, but here are three quick links to articles I recently read on www.challies.com.

A book review (by Tim Challies) of On Guard: Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church by Deepak Reju

"The Tragic Prevalence of Sexual Assault" by Tim Challies

"6 Reasons Why Sexual Predators Target Churches" by Tim Challies

The Ebb and Flow

Wow. Read this. Every word.

God is unchanging, steady, forever. But faith ebbs and flows. It shatters and is reassembled. You are on fire for God and then the fire burns out and you are left angry and ashen and cold.
It’s a road. It’s a journey. It’s a pit. It’s a paradise.

And the thing about marriage – any marriage – is that you are two different people, and there will be times when your faith feels like it’s gone dark and his has not. Or when he is full of doubt and you are lit up with a new grasp of grace.

No one told me that it is possible to feel a little unequally yoked even if you started out with a shared faith. Even if you’re both Christians. Even if you begin the whole thing with a united picture of God.

[http://addiezierman.com/2013/04/03/unequally-yoked-at-deeper-story/]

"The Honest Plea of Good Friday"

Read:

Nearly every day, I say in any tone, volume, or escalating degree, “Please. Please no. Isn’t there another way? Does obeying you really have to feel this lonely, make me this tired, cost me this much?”

[http://tricialottwilliford.com/2015/04/honest-plea/]

"Redeeming Rap Music"

One of the many things I took away from Mr. Bond's English class was a new ability to articulate the distinction between "Christian" as a noun as opposed to an adjective.

And that distinction is something Tripp Lee gets at in his quotes in this article.

[http://m.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/04/redeeming-rap-music/389105/]

"Emotional Blackmail"

This was a hugely helpful quote for me to ruminate on these last few days. I needed to hear these words and have Seth convince me that the applied to a particular friendship/interaction with a friend. (But now to decide what to do in light of my realization I have been emotionally blackmailed...)

Emotional blackmail happens when a person equates his or her emotional pain with another person’s failure to love. They aren’t the same. A person may love well and the beloved still feel hurt, and use the hurt to blackmail the lover into admitting guilt he or she does not have. Emotional blackmail says, ‘If I feel hurt by you, you are guilty.’ There is no defense. The hurt person has become God. His emotion has become judge and jury. Truth does not matter. All that matters is the sovereign suffering of the aggrieved.

[http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/gospeldrivenchurch/2015/03/23/piper-on-emotional-blackmail-in-the-church/]

"Work With Your Hands, Not With Your Worship"

So good:

Regardless of who we are — however talented, well-known, or successful — there’s something uniquely captivating about what we create, what we build, and what we accomplish. Most Christians know we’re not saved by our works, but we are often prone to be satisfied by them. We need to continually ask if our hearts rest most regularly and most fully in what God has done, or instead in what we’ve made or achieved. 

[http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/work-with-your-hands-not-with-your-worship]

"Dear Mom Who's Done Having Babies"

There’s the movement among Christians to have as many babies as God gives. And if God has truly lain that on their hearts, they are to obey Him. Children always, always are a blessing.
But my sisters, a Christian mama should not feel isolated, judged and condemned because her womb remains closed by either secondary infertility or life trials or a decision she and her husband have prayed through.

[http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/2014/11/done-having-babies.html]

Unexpected Pregnancy and God's Sovereignty: "Sometimes, Pregnancy Stinks"

One of my friends sent me this article by Gina Loehr, "The Passion of Pregnancy," back in November and it's probably what made me resolve to start writing about this topic of unexpected pregnancy and God's sovereignty. I have no other way to express my reaction to it than to say reading it was such a fresh breath of air! I mean, read this opening paragraph:

Guilty and ashamed, but seeking solace, I have admitted the truth: I hate being pregnant. Now, in the throes of my sixth round of this freely chosen misery, I have decided to speak openly. We religious types rarely, if ever, publicly address the real burden that pregnancy puts on women. Instead, we jump ahead to the value of the life she carries. Unless we find ways to acknowledge this aspect of the experience of women, our defense of the truth that every human life has value risks ringing false.

I didn't even have difficult pregnancies, physically speaking, relative to the difficult things some of my friends experienced. I didn't particularly enjoy being pregnant, but I was so caught up in the spiritual and emotional trials of being pregnant that I didn't dwell much on the physical discomforts. It certainly wasn't an enjoyable experience, however, and I can relate to much of what this author says about the experience.

I remember listening to my friend Darcee describe this article and when she related the following sentiment, I was so struck by this truth.

Here alone—during pregnancy—do intense nausea, constant fatigue, digestive chaos, and hormonally induced depression fail to earn the title “illness.”

But we just act like it's normal and we should just deal with it! Making this realization has definitely made a difference in how I interact with and pray for the pregnant women I know. I suppose I glossed over the hard physical realities of pregnancy before, even another friend's HG pregnancy! but I've resolved to no longer do so. I particularly want to be aware of and sympathetic towards Postpartum Depression because it so blindsided me, but I have yet to work out what that means. (Ha! I actually wrote that sentence in regards to how I could care for others experiencing PPD, but as soon as I wrote it I  realized again that I still don't even know what it means for me.)

And I suppose I should offer the caveat that I deeply respect the resolve to be grateful for a pregnancy and refuse to complain such a blessing. I really do. Another of my friends prayed for years to be pregnant and, once she was, made every effort to rejoice despite her discomfort - she felt that she couldn't complain about the very thing she had begged to experience. I just don't think the extremes are usually so sharp, or at least need to be so sharp.

Returning to the article, I particularly resonated with the following quote, even though, as I've just tried to express, my focus was on the spiritual/emotional difficulty of my pregnancies not the physical:

Women immersed in a religious landscape frequently feel pressure to act happy and bear their maternal miseries with pious silence. Lamenting pregnancy seems to border on blasphemy. We who sincerely desire to build up the culture of life, who seek to welcome children as the supreme blessing of marriage, we who worship God as the source of all life and declare ourselves to be his servants, we are not in the business of inviting pregnant women to cry on our shoulders. We don’t even acknowledge that it’s normal to feel sad. We’re too busy rejoicing—rightly—over the precious gift of new life.

This is exactly why I felt so alone. I didn't go looking for company, but that's probably even because I knew I would find it, but find it in circles that I didn't want influencing me at a time where I already felt so vulnerable and discontent.

In the National Organization of Women and the architects of the supposed War on Women, the painfully pregnant have a listening ear. Although the conversation is rarely about the ills of pregnancy, NOW and WOW openly admit that women don’t always want to be pregnant. They offer an honest recognition that pregnancy is not every woman’s dream job. Mixed in amongst a slew of lies about the status of unborn life, the feminists offer a reassuring dose of reality. Sometimes, pregnancy stinks.

Loehr expresses exactly what I wish I could have expressed four years ago. We have somewhat different reasons for arriving at the same conclusion, but I have read and reread her article many times as an encouragement.

I love her application and recommendation for interacting with the world at large, particularly those facing unexpected pregnancies outside the Church. But I'd love to read and article (perhaps someday write it?) making an application and recommendation for interacting with those inside the Church as well.

[http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2014/10/the-passion-of-pregnancy]

"Scattering... for the sake of kingdom advance"!

Joshua Harris announced that he is stepping down from his pulpit this past week. His entire message is worth reading, but I especially appreciated the following quote. It's a good reminder both in regards to the recent upheaval at Mars Hill Church and in regards to the ways God has shaped my own life.

People can look at the last few years and say, “It’s so sad that Covenant Life has gotten smaller.” I don’t view it that way. God’s kingdom hasn’t gotten smaller. I think he’s been scattering us for the sake of kingdom advance. New churches have been started. And I say God bless and grow every one of them. And there are hundreds of former members who are attending other established churches across this county. And I say, “Lord, use them to bless and grow those churches and give us all a kingdom mindset that yearns for the glory of your name alone in this city!” 

God is doing something wonderful. But it’s been hard because the change isn’t fast enough for some people and it’s too much for others. But at the end of the day, our Father is transforming and refining his beloved children.

[http://www.covlife.org/blog/joshua_harris_sunday_remarks]

Fact Checking Sermons

I enjoyed the article "You Might Want to Fact-Check Your Pastor’s Sermon" because I do notice when an illustration or quote sounds a bit suspect in a sermon. But sometimes it distracts me from, you know, the actual sermon.

"I Retreated Again"

Ooof, this blog post, "What Makes Marriage So Hard?", was so convicting to me! Why does anyone get married?!?!? It's sooo difficult to be in relationship with another person!

Choice quotes:

I retreated to my room and felt the anger well up through my stomach past my hard heart and clench its fists around my throat. I had turned fiercely angry.

And:

God graciously, with such tenderness and compassion, opened my eyes to my jealous heart. The problem was me. Not my husband.

Repulses and Draws

There's not a neutral reasction:

"The people wanted Jesus as far as possible, this man wanted Jesus as close as possible. And in those two reactions we see something fascinating: Jesus repulses and Jesus draws. Some people encounter Jesus and find him the most dreadful thing in the world; some people encounter Jesus and find him the most desirable thing in the world. Some beg him to leave and some beg to follow."

Jesus Repulses, Jesus Draws http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/challies/XhEt/~3/5y_uB5MI_IQ/jesus-repulses-jesus-draws

Psalm 81:10

I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

"The Gospel is Made for Messes"

"When you put two sinners in close proximity and say, “Don’t either of you leave,” you’re gonna get a mess at some point..."

[http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/gospeldrivenchurch/2014/06/29/happy-18th-to-us/]

"Parenting Through Trembling Lips"

Ezra screamed down the hallway to his BSF class today. He was mostly being defiant, so it wasn't as heart-wrenching as it could have been, but I hate to hear/see him cry for any reason. That recent memory, combined with the fact that it's hours and hours past my bedtime, was likely the impetus for my tears as I read the following prayer from "Parenting Through Trembling Lips" in my blog reader just now.

Lord God, you sent your only Son into this world knowing he would die for others. Deliberately putting him in harms way. How great is your love for me, but how greatly your heart must have broken. Keep breaking my heart for my children, Lord. Guide my steps as I guide theirs.

The Sacrifice of Hospitality

"The Sacrifice of Hospitality (and why it matters so much)"

To practice hospitality in all of its generous glory, there will always be sacrifice.

The sacrifice of resources - the actual cost of more people gathered around the table or snuggled under your roof or invited to go along on the long trip.

The sacrifice of pride - the opening the door when you really wished you had just fifteen more minutes to tidy up; the offer to stay the night when there isn't a proper guest room, just an air mattress on the floor covered with heirloom quilts; the invitation to dinner when the menu is more ground beef than prime rib.

The sacrifice of time - and this is the costliest of all, isn't it? The rearranging of schedule, the disruption of familiar routine, the priority of planning for someone else instead of yourself.

Discipline as an Act of Grace

The article "Blessings Too Big" on Desiring God described disciplining as a blessing, which is a foreign way of thinking about discipline for me.

So in a healthy Christian home, we spend a goodish bit of time correcting, disciplining, training, and spanking. The path to the proverbial wood shed is well worn, shall we say. The thing that is often hard to remember when the two-year-old is going red-faced and screaming, when everybody’s getting their feelings hurt and fussing — the thing that is really hard to remember is that this is part of the blessing too.

God is sovereign, and he has given you children that fuss and quarrel. If your heart is already bent out of shape, and the next kid that walks by is going to be a sinner in the hands of an angry god, then you’re well on your way to forfeiting the blessing God is trying to give you.

 The line most convicting for me?

[F]or discipline of children to be a blessing, the act itself must be full of Jesus and his gospel of grace.

Partial Preterism

We were talking about Seth's upcoming trip to Florida and he asked me what's the furthest south I've ever traveled. The furthest I could think of was Helen Keller's home (in northwest Alabama,) but I looked it up just to make sure.

But, of course I/we got sidetracked... Reading the Wikipedia article on Helen Keller caused me to click over to read more about Emanuel Swedenborg, which caused us to start talking about preterism, which caused us to read a few articles about it to get a better (albeit still probably shallow) understanding of preterism.

How was this really very important or relevant? I don't know.

But this was the article we spent the most time reading.