Grief+Joy and Change

I have suddenly found numerous blog posts or articles about changing circumstances and perspectives with a mixture of grief+joy.

They are helping me finally start to put a finger on my life of the last nine years. I'm not ready to expound yet but I need to start the process.

I believe Rebecca Wolfe was one of the first "mommy bloggers" to start making money. I'm not sure why or when I added her to my Feedly account but I usually don't actually read her posts. There are all sorts of differing interests and worldviews reasons why but every few months a blog title catches my eye and I'm reminded that there is something really authentic about the way she writes.

"And keep sailing..." illustrates this fact well, I think, as she writes about the symbol her first purchased home was to her and what it has meant selling

Maybe I first latched onto this post when she said "I still haven't had time to emotionally process what actually went down but that's sort of recurring theme as of late sooooo.... 'Hello feelings, come on in. Take a number. I'll be with you shortly.'" Could I resonate more fully with a sentiment?

And this truth: "When we bought this house, we pictured ourselves staying here forever, but I guess that's normal. Humans don't put down roots while simultaneously planning to uproot them. Still, I have spent the last several weeks mourning the childhood I assumed would take place right here." That was like a gut punch realization to help me realize why (for the first time?) change is often so hard for me. I mean, how basic is that? Why have I never been able to articulate that fact before?

And lastly, this is what I have been realizing lately: "We can say goodbye and hello all at once." And it's painful. Why do I expect it to be anything else BUT painful?